I'm not going to part the Red Sea in the near future or part my hair for that matter, but, like Moses, I find myself wanting for a mouthpiece. It's not that I have a problem speaking. Once in a while suitable words come up absent in the conduit between brain and mouth. There's no earth-shattering message beating the back of my lips blue to get out. It's just that I've found the perfect voice to narrate my life as I live it. In fact, smart money says that a project employing this voice for audio books and lullabies, commercials and cover songs would exponentially grow any mula you're willing to invest. He's the personal interlocutor in Magnum P.I. His voice the Ambien on a sleepless night and the Valium when You're nervy. Tom Selleck, narrate my life.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I Need A Mouthpiece
Posted by vis at 6:04 PM
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6 comments:
Still hard to believe Monica picked Chandler over the 'stash.
Nice Ambien reference. Just admit you like him because you both have hairy chests. If you change your mind (perhaps after you remember T.S. association with Quigley Down Under). I would be happy to offer you a monotone narrative of your life.
Interesting.
I thought everyone had a Morgan Freeman in their head anyway.
Barry White for me. Smooooth and oh so sexy. Plus he had a cameo on The Simpsons. The Whacking Days episode. Easy. It is spoofing a real event that takes places annually in Sweetwater, TX (I think). They have a rattle snake round-up where locals and tourists go about and, as the name suggests, round-up rattlers. They then make the serpent into all kinds of cuisine, nic-nacs, and tacky apparel. Texas, It's A Whole Other Country. Anyway, Barry White convinces the people of Springfield not to kill the snakes by singing, "Oooh, something, can't get enough of your love, baby." Anyway it made sense in the episode and that's why I want Barry White to narrate my life. He's the poor man's Morgan Freeman.
James Earl Jones....vader style.
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